The Top 8 Things I'd Do *Today* to Build a Bingeworthy Newsletter Even Tina Fey Would Want to Read

Because no subscribers = no sales for you! And no sales means you can't buy that sweet-ass sectional from Interior Define. 🤷‍♀️

You know how everyone’s like “you need to build an email list!” and you’re like “oh, that’s original 🙄,” and they’re like “no, but REALLY,” and you’re like “I don’t even know what I’m DOING WITH MY LIFE YET,” and they’re like “but it’s 40x more effective than social!” and you’re like “would you please go pee in a cup somewhere???”

I know. I know. You want to tell me to go pee in a cup somewhere. You see that delicious run-on paragraph and you’re all, ‘jesus, is this lady on drugs???’ 💊

I don't do drugs, but I am on a prescription called 'knocking you on your ass.' Which is only partially true, because I only do it via email. My sole purpose with this newsletter is to make you do all the stuff you know you want to do / are dying to do, but don’t, because you feel like an imposter with digital B.O.

Should we change the name of this newsletter to “Digital B.O.?”

Or perhaps “Ash Made Me Do It.”

Highly considering.

So! I’ve been having the *best* time with The Farmhouse Sessions—the one-on-one, 3-hour brainstorming sessions I’m doing with clients for a limited time (waitlist here), and some common themes keep coming up:

1. Sex, bad sex, sex jokes, sex sex sex, food, sex, farts, and sex

2. Ice cream

3. And how the frig to build an email list so you can sell whatever it is you make

I don’t think the latter is related to either of the former. For most of us, anyway. But, I can tell you that building an email list is literally THE dark weapon, ace in the hole, secret advantage, x-factor that you are completely underestimating.

Or, maybe you’re not underestimating it, but you just haven’t ~done it~. Like me, with that swanky-ass Farrow & Ball wallpaper I’ve had for months. IT REALLY ISN’T THAT HARD, ASH. YOU JUST GOTTA MOVE YOUR ARMS.

And, the same applies to email marketing! It really isn’t that hard. You just gotta move your…fingers? Whatever, same appendage.

So, without further ado, here are the top 8 super-duper strategic things I’d do today if I had to build an email list from scratch—and make it so bingeworthy, even Tina Fey would want to join: