Predictable Little Cowards Do Not Make Money

A biting tongue lashing on following your passions

You know what’s worse than a soggy plate of nachos that you’re absolutely still going to eat, with a fork if you must, ice cold from the refrigerator, making you wonder if you have some kind of problem, because why else are you eating this mush with your hands????? Why aren’t you eating a yogurt and an apple? There are yogurt and apple people. People who happily eat yogurts and apples, without getting the sense that they are a mouse in a cage, without it secretly being a let down, without writing an entire paragraph dedicated to their hatred of the yogurt and the apple.

So, you know what’s worse than that???

Genocide, obviously.

And drugs.

And the people who never stop talking, and talk over you every time you talk, and exhaust you from their very presence, retelling the same stories that they don’t remember already having told you the time before, because they’re so busy telling everyone their stories, they can’t keep straight which unlucky soul hasn’t yet heard their groundbreaking latest opinion.

Ahhhhhhhhhhh.

Speaking of drugs, the doctor prescribed me a muscle relaxer for my neck, which apparently has reverse curvature thanks to my fancy fking dreams of being a writer, but I would never take a muscle relaxer because that seems like one of those gateway drugs where, next thing you know, I am addicted to heroin. I’ve never even smoked a cigarette, not even a candy cigarette, so I’m not going to ruin my track record now.

But then again if I run into one of those people that never stops talking, maybe there’s a use case for ‘em. Is this why people do drugs? Because we’re surrounded by idiots? And the pain is just too great?

Ahhhhhhhhhhh.

That’s me deep breathing, which is really only one step away from becoming a yogurt and apple person. Next thing you know, I’ll be cleansing crystals by the light of the moon.

UNTIL THEN, however, we have a problem: the PP problem, which is not as dribbly as it seems. The PP problem is a little nickname I’ve given to two words:

Perfection.
Paralysis.

See? Two Ps.

Perfection Paralysis is what happens when you’ve got this maddening yearning in your guts to make a change, but you aren’t sure what that looks like and you can’t seem to pull the trigger on any of it. You’ve been asking “what’s next?” for about three-hundred and seventeen days, stalking other people doing interesting things, wondering if you could really make it as a writer, or a photographer, or a tour guide, or a food truck operator selling nachos to unsuspecting white girls.

There are so many things you could do. But, which one should you?

This is a question I get all the time.

We’re spoilt for choice.

We can literally do anything.

We can choose a new career path as easily as choosing a car.

We have a buffet of options. Writing, designing, coaching? Consulting, services, courses? Memberships, Substacks, masterminds? Email, social, TikTok?

It can be hard to know WHAT to do, and how to actually have faith that you’re going to make something of this thing. 🥴

So, if this is you, I have three big, fat pieces of advice for you:

1. Passions aren’t something you just wake up and discover one day, like your period. Imagine how much easier life would be if everyone just got delivered a passion in their pants? Then there’d be no excuses. You’d have A THING. You’d have a path! You’d have a purpose! And then we could all finally get some sleep around here.
   
   Unfortunately, that’s not how life works. The only thing you get handed is a $300 phone bill you didn’t see coming because your roaming was on when you went to the mountains that one time to scream.
   
   I’ve always said: the best way to get to know yourself is on paper, because you don’t lie to yourself on paper. So, here is a question I routinely ask myself on paper: “What do I *really* want?”
   
   I suppose boring people call this a journal prompt. I call it a gut check. I suppose I’m boring too.
   
   The important thing here is that you tell yourself the truth. Forget logistics, forget money, forget how—just answer the question. What do you really want to do? Do you really want to write SEO, or are you forcing yourself because you can see a more clear path than, say, writing comedy? Do you really want to run a membership group, or are you forcing yourself because of the income potential???
   
   

2. You can make $100K doing almost anything these days—so let money be in the backseat. Don’t let money drive the bus. Don’t be that predictable little coward. (Okay, fine, we’ve all been there.)
   
   Ironically, the more you choose a path because of the income potential, the more broke you’re going to be, because the less you’re going to want to do any of it. You won’t want to talk about it. You won’t want to write about it. You won’t want to scream about it from the rooftops. And that means your marketing is going to feel like torture, and your days are going to feel like sludge, and you’re going to have a really hard time getting any traction, because people can tell when you are faking it.
   
   So, don’t do that to yourself, okay? It is the wrong decision.
   
   Follow your enthusiasm, your incandescence, your effervescence.
   
   Trust your curiosity. Your curiosity isn’t frivolous: it’s a map back home to yourself.
   
   Go, go, go.
   
   Money can be engineered. But excitement must come from within.
   
   

3. Did you get a little tingly about the idea of “engineering money” versus having to pull it out of thin air?
   
   This is my favorite business topic. Because, it doesn’t have to be so hard. And it definitely doesn’t have to mean you running all over the internet with your hair on fire, trying to keep up with all of the latest social media platforms. (BLECH.)
   
   Engineering money is all about choosing the right activities to focus on. The internet has given us SO much: more reach, more clients, more leverage, more formats to sell our ideas. But at the same time, it has also distracted us with its never-ending parade of bullshit. The pressure to be everywhere, on every platform, is turning people into pudding. You want to talk about Perfection Paralysis? Ask a new business owner how they’re marketing themselves. 😂
   
   Keeping up with it all is a full-time job in and of itself, but guess what? You don’t have to. You shouldn’t do this. Doing so is a recipe for burnout and failure and unshowered armpits. Plus, you’ll look like a twat because you’ll be half-jacking everything.
   
   So, what’s a good person who doesn’t want to be overwhelmed or drive themselves to the brink or suffer from Perfection Paralysis to do????
   
   Keep reading this hellacious newsletter.

   
   

   
   I’ll see you in your inbox!
   
   In the meantime, I’m gonna go have a yogurt. (But not an apple, I really couldn’t stand the sight of myself.)
   
   Until tomorrow, when I offer more advice to people who really are going to hate me afterward.