How to Sell the Sh*t Out of Your Art: 40 Things I've Learned in 40 Years as a Creative Writer

Oh god, we're definitely doing this

I’m 40 years old! It’s disgusting!

But, I spent my 40th in Iceland 🇮🇸 with my best friends in the whole world, which made it less disgusting. They creamed me in the face with a cupcake. We drank French champagne. We bought ridiculous coats. And then the Chief of Police of Iceland emailed me with a speeding ticket. 🤣 (The photo they attached of us with our rental car is friggin’ hilarious. ⬇️)

In the meantime, however, I realized that people who have forty-year-old eyeballs (!!!) are qualified to offer advice on things that people with thirty-nine-year-old eyeballs are not qualified to offer, mostly because that one extra day of experience really counts.

So I thought, shoot, I should really share some of these gems, before the Icelandic police force imprisons me.

Alas, I’ve compiled 40 (true and helpful) pieces of business advice for anyone in a creative field, who has been tasked with the revolting task of having to sell one’s self. 🥴 Whether it’s your art, your photography, your writing, your illustrations, or some other creative endeavor, there is a fine line between “making enough to get buy” and “making enough to buy the fucking Louvre.”

And, I think we know which one WE’D prefer. Mostly so I can finally learn how to pronounce “louvre.”

*CLEARS THROAT*

*STOMPS OUT CIGAR*

Let’s begin!

1. It’s OKAY if you have no freakin’ idea how it’s going to work yet. 💯 (You won’t!)
   Just start with one simple product. Get that product or service together, start small, sell one thing, and don’t put too much pressure on yourself to have this whole portfolio, and this booming website, and all these socials, and all these bells. You can literally start with a basic landing page. The biggest trap is feeling like you have to have it all perfect before you launch (because people are looking! 👀), but those who have experience in this game know the truth: you will forever be changing everything—literally everything—and it will NEVER be done. Not your website, not your product pages, not your elevator pitch, not your bio. You will forever and ever and ever be tweaking it all. Therefore, there’s no use in waiting for some magical day to arrive when you are 100% happy. 😃 There’s no such thing as 100% happy, so get used to aiming for 50% happy—and then go, go, go. And adjust along the way!

2. We remember the girl who makes the vintage lampshades. 💡
   We do not remember the girl who makes the vintage lampshades, the cheeky pins, the frilly tops, and the refurbishes armoires. Branding your work is just as important as doing wonderful work. And you know what a big part of branding is? Becoming known for something. But, that’s really hard to do when you’re trying to sell everything at once. 🙂 Start with just ONE offer—and make it weird, memorable, distinctive, fun, and unforgettable. Then, let ‘er rip.

3. Random doesn’t sell. Curated does. 🪄
   If you have to sell multiple products, the way you gain brand equity is by creating a theme around those products. How do the products all hang together? How does your body of work all hang together? What’s the common denominator? (Middle school math references for the win!) Find the common thread, and sell that. And if you don’t have a common thread? Engineer one. Become the cupcake artist who only designs killer flower cupcakes. (And then laugh your way to the bank with your 1.3 million followers.)

4. People respect premium. Don’t charge loser money. (I love you!) 💰
   Make your thing wonderful, and then charge wonderful money. This is far better than making a subpar product, that you charge less money for, so you can have more sales. More sales = more customer service, more refunds, more admin, more work, more weirdos. Less sales = more time to focus on your art and be fulfilled. “Less sales” does not necessarily mean “less income,” so long as what you do is good (and you charge accordingly). Handcrafted is the future, in a world that’s become exhausted by fast consumerism, mass produced in China.

5. What you say about yourself is how people will define you. You are in control of the narrative. ✨
   The words you use to describe what you do are the same words OTHER people will use to describe what you do—so make ‘em hella clear. Make sure a complete stranger could say “oh my god, I so need that!” Most of the time, this isn’t the case, because most of the time, creatives describe themselves with vague, obscure, cryptic terms, trying really hard to sound unique & profound. But, guess what: nobody hears “life activation coach” and thinks to themselves, “oh my god, I so need that!” So, make sure the words you use are the same ones your customers are using. Your bank account will thank you.

6. Feeling that imposter syndrome? It might be because you DON’T have the words yet. 🤷‍♀️
   Speaking of words, did you know that coming up with the right ones can give you SO much more confidence? Sometimes, that feeling of inadequacy comes from simply not being able to describe your ideas. If you can’t describe your idea, it feels like the idea is bad. (Because it doesn’t have any clear vision!) So a good first step, once you’ve figured out what you want to sell? Is to spend a week trying like hell to “pitch” your idea on paper. Once you land the pitch, you suddenly will feel invincible. Good ideas need good language.

7. Art needs story. 🎨
   And, people need to be able to see themselves in the story. This is why we don’t say “would you like to hire a garden designer?” and instead we say “would you like me to turn your entire property into a stunning English garden full of rose bushes that’ll stop traffic and turn your lawn into a fairytale dream land???” The first one doesn’t make it clear what the benefit is; the second, on the other hand, is something I KNOW I want. The more you can contextualize your services and products for people, and give them ideas for exactly how they fit into their life—and their dreams—the more you will sell. Period.

8. Earning respect requires you to do something respectable. 🏆
   The best marketing is the kind that happens automatically because people can’t stop talking about you. And the kinds of things people talk about are the wacky, bold, one-of-a-kind ideas that make ‘em smile. (Like this guy, who’s planting giant, big, splashy bouquets of flowers in New York City trash cans.) No one has much to say about your everyday, run-of-the-mill wedding photographer, so…why be one???

9. There will always be someone who thinks you’re a moron. 🤡
   Fuck ‘em.

10. If you aren’t making enough money, you aren’t making enough offers. 🙋‍♀️
    This is my #1 golden rule of sales. You don’t have to pressure people into buying from you, but you do need to ask them if they want your help. Really, that’s all that selling is! Would you like my help with this? Would you like to make people gasp when they walk into your living room? Would you like a book cover that sells 50% more books??? Would you like me to turn your entire property into a stunning English garden FULL of rose bushes that’ll stop traffic and turn your lawn into a fairytale dream land?????? The selling is in the asking. (Sometimes it’s really that simple.)

11. Customers DO NOT KNOW things. 🤔
    They don’t know how long it takes, or what’s involved, or how hard it is, or the complications that can arise, or the research you had to do, or the drafts you had to write. They don’t know that it took you twenty years to get this good. They don’t know that it’s harder than it looks. They don’t know that you make it look easy. They don’t know that sometimes, it takes weeks to get this result. And that means that they’re going to significantly devalue your work. That’s because they’re not in the industry. That’s because they’re what we (lovingly) call “uneducated consumers.” That’s because they look at that one page of copy you’re delivering and assume it took you fifteen minutes (when really it took you fifteen hours). This is why it’s critical to educate them; to walk them through the whole process; to show your work; to make sure that the effort is visible. This won’t just help you sell your work for the appropriate compensation, but it’ll help justify the price point in the minds of the customer, too. And at the end of the day? We want your customer to feel like they’re getting a DAMN GOOD DEAL (not a damn rotten one).

12. Customers are paying for your experience, not your time. ⏰
    Whenever you can avoid it, don’t charge hourly. This is one of the quickest ways to devaluing YOURSELF. A customer doesn’t care if it took you 3 months or 3 years to write a book—they’re still paying the same amount for the book. Similarly, a customer doesn’t care if it takes you 3 hours or 3 days to finish their project—they just want the result. So, make sure you’re selling them the right thing.

13. The rights to your intellectual property do not transfer until final payment is made. (Said with a kiss.) 💋
    Calling all writers, designers, illustrators, painters, photographers and creatives: this is a must in your client agreements. Not because you are trying to be an unreasonable donkey smear, but because you are a person creating art for another person. Art is subjective. Art is personal. And most of all, once someone has your files, there’s really nothing stopping them from using those files (even if they haven’t made good on their end of the bargain and paid their balance). Unless, of course, you have an agreement you can enforce. It’s important to have that legal recourse and protect yourself, darling. That, or just buy a tank and drive it to their house. That would be fun, huh?

14. Stripe Atlas makes registering your business so freakin’ easy. 📜
    Recently used for a new project. (Wait until you see what I have coming this fall!) Highly recommend. It’ll form your biz into an LLC, get you an EIN, and give you operating docs, all for $500 or so—without the headache.

15. Please, for the love of hot, gooey mozzarella sticks that were fried in brand-new oil, make + sell a digital product. 💻
    It is one of the best, most fun revenue streams on this modern earth, and if you don’t have one, you are leaving A LOT of money on the table. The benefits are endless: you can make and deliver a product automatically online without overhead or having to mail out physical products; your customers can gain access to your work and your brain in a way that’s more financially accessible to them; your on-the-fence customers can get a feel for your work and fall madly in love with you and then be convinced they want to hire or commission you; and finally, you raise your profile as a leader in your field (because people who aren’t leaders don’t make these kinds of things).

16. Customer pushing for a rate over the phone? 📞
    Don’t be afraid to tell ‘em: “There are a number of factors I take into consideration when pricing projects, such as timeline, complexity, size, and more; let me do some crunching and I’ll send you some options this afternoon.”

17. Yup, it’s true: $599 is different than $600. 💵
    Humans look at the first number as the category. Is it in the $500s category, or the $600s category? It doesn’t matter if we are all smarter than this—psychology is still a thing. (I swear.)

18. Newsletters sell more than any other marketing activity out there. 📝
    No newsletter, no soup. Even if you have no idea what to write, and even if you think you’re a mediocre writer, and even if you’re scared sh*tless you won’t be able to stick to a schedule, start a newsletter. Make it the star of your business. Ask everyone to opt into your newsletter. Splash it everywhere. Put it in your socials. Put it in your email signature. Put it on a billboard. This should be the first step for any customer or client engaging with you. Why? Because they can click out of anything else and forget about you forever. But once you start an email love affair? Now you two will become friends. You can have conversations. You can develop a relationship. And you can sell your art in a way that feels natural and fun. And that, right there, is called “the long game.”

19. People want to know what YOU think. That is why they are reading your newsletter. If they wanted to read a Wikipedia summary, they’d go to Wikipedia. 📖
    Imagine writing to your best friend. You’d be honest, you’d tell jokes, you’d ponder life, you’d share inspo, you’d swap ideas, and you’d be tight. This, right here, is what people want from your newsletter: they want a friend! They want to feel like they’re reading something human, and personal, and insightful, and unique. Nobody wants to hear from your company. They want to hear from a person. And, that person is you. DO NOT DISCOUNT YOUR VOICE.