8 Comments

Ash, I want photos. Maybe you can get a miniature model of your house and put the tiny can next to it?

Expand full comment
author

I actually posted a photo as the cover for this article, LOL! See photo here:

https://middlefingerproject.substack.com/

Expand full comment

Or a miniature cake ... in the form of your house? #cakewars

Expand full comment

@AshAmbirge reinventing herself yet again — one of the most entertaining (and most educational!) thing on the entire Substack universe.

Ash, if you're reading this, _chapeau_ from Europe from a former unfckwthble girlfriend and long-time reader, Dr. Barbara from Germany :)

Expand full comment

Anyway...

Ladders-R-Us

1. Do you need a ladder?

Y - Continue

N - [Link to a picture of a cat]

2. Have you ever used a ladder before?

3. Do you need a work ladder or a house ladder or both?

4. Are you going to the roof or to the top of the Christmas tree or to a high shelf where you keep old casserole dishes?

5. Will you be storing this ladder in a closet or a garage or discarded in the backyard exposed to the elements?

BONUS UPSELL QUESTION

6. Would you also like to buy some grippy socks or rubber-soled shoes to use with said ladder?

Expand full comment

Seriously I wish every single website and brand had something like that. Especially stuff like.. Sephora?? How on EARTH does Sephora's website not have a little wizard that asks you if you know anything about makeup and what you're trying to do with it? I'm sure it has something to do with not showing brand preference, but y'all sometimes a girl needs a damn questionnaire!

Expand full comment

And this is why I started using the hose... 😂 Of course then, I had to find the right NOZZLE! In all seriousness, thank you for sharing all your humor and amazing advice in that cheeky way you do so well!

Expand full comment
author

Do you know, all I want for Christmas is a hose that works?!?! There are two spigots outside at the farmhouse; one that doesn't work at all (mystery!), and one that sorta works - it leaks water like crazy when the water valve is turned on from the basement, so I can't leave it on, and have to go into the creepy basement and crawl around with spiders every time I want to use the hose to turn it on. So, I hardly ever! Isn't that just awful? MUST FIX IMMEDIATELY. It takes me wayyyyy too long with the watering can. 🤣

Expand full comment